Obviously, we’ve had some horrible news in the last week. Another well known, high profile individual took his life, leaving his wife and kids.
It's incredibly sad.
What’s even more shocking is that this is happening every day in the community.
Dads, Mums, Brothers, Sisters, Aunties, Uncles, Friends and Co-Workers.
What is somewhat frustrating is that when someone of a high profile takes their life, we have an outpouring of messages for a few weeks.
Then, things go back to normal.
We tend to have this RHETORIC that circulates.
❌ “If you are going through tough times, let someone know”
❌ “Men, speak up”
HERE’S THE THING.
Men by nature aren’t good at expressing themselves.
Talking about awkward, uncomfortable, confronting emotions is the last thing they want to talk about.
Men have been conditioned to be stoic for generations, with a “she’ll be right attitude” (This is starting to change now)
✅ THE MESSAGING HAS TO CHANGE.
✅ THE EDUCATION HAS TO COMMENCE.
✅ THE CONVERSATIONS NEED TO CONTINUE.
This is how it needs to change. This is the KEY takeaway of this blog.
We have to EDUCATE what the SYMPTOMS feel like.
❌ It’s not GOOD ENOUGH to say “Men, Speak Up” or “Talk to a mate”.
Most MEN don’t actually realise they are in a hole, so they suffer in silence.
Here are just a FEW SYMPTOMS of what DEPRESSION can feel like.
You often feel down or sad for prolonged periods.
You're angry or irritable at seemingly small things.
You feel drained, fatigued, unmotivated, don’t want to leave bed.
You're binging on TV, video games, porn, gambling, social media or other escapes.
You're going hard on stimulants like alcohol, tobacco, caffeine or drugs.
Here are just a FEW SYMPTOMS of what ANXIETY can feel like:
You feel short of breath, tight in the chest.
You feel rushes of adrenaline, fatigue
You feel stress, all throughout your chest, like a physical weight is on you.
You have panic attacks (Short involuntary breaths, with overwhelming sense of stress)
You feel completely lost, isolated, lonely and don’t know how to make it stop.
Here are just a FEW SYMPTOMS of what SUICIDAL THOUGHTS can feel like:
You think about how you “could” take your life.
You rationalise you not bein
g around. (Nobody would miss me, My life is shit)
Despite trying to feel positive, you can feel the “black dog” lurking in your mind somewhere.
Somebody else takes their life. (They did it, I guess I could do it)
You feel so worthless, pathetic and ashamed that you could “cease to exist”
THIS IS REAL. Men & Women go through this every day.
However, Men in particular struggle with describing how they feel.
So they don’t acknowledge it, they bottle it up and it just sits there dormant.
LIFE will throw up challenging scenarios. (We call these TRIGGERS)
Loss of Career or Financial Issues
Relationship Breakdown, Separation or Divorce
Loss of loved one & deep grief
Drug or Alcohol Addiction
THE SOLUTION MOVING FORWARD IS THIS.
✅ STEP 1: We have to normalise talking about the SYMPTOMS of Depression, Anxiety & Suicide (We need to confront what we are actually dealing with, get it out in the open)
✅ STEP 2: This will help MEN not to feel shame, embarrassment, guilt, worthlessness.
✅ STEP 3: MEN can actually DESCRIBE to a friend, family member or professional what they actually feel.
SO MEN, I’m calling on you to GET TO KNOW these SYMPTOMS.
If not for yourself, for a mate, for a co-worker.
THEN, if in the scenario where you have a challenging issue in your life (A TRIGGER) and you start to feel SYMPTOMS of either DEPRESSION, ANXIETY or SUICIDAL THOUGHTS you can simply make this statement.
I am feeling Depressed.
I am feeling Anxiety.
I am having Suicidal Thoughts.
Post it on your Facebook, on your LinkedIn or Instagram Story, Tell a Friend.
Let’s make this process easier to identify and simpler to talk about.
There is no shame, guilt or embarrassment in being transparent about this. There are hundreds of people with the skillsets to help you get into a better place.
In my next blog I’ll talk about WARNING SIGNS and what kinds of things actually DO HELP get you back on track.
Let’s rally around each other and make a change.